So we aren't quite up to the present yet. I am backtracking a little bit first, to last weekend (3/22/2011). At that point I hadn’t seen Workaholic Ken in 9 days. So I texted him on Sat.
Barbie (3:58pm):"Whatever business you are conducting I hope you are doing so outdoors..." (great weather)
Workaholic Ken (6:58pm): "Ha yeah I packed in the work earlier. Big day of work tomorrow though. Playing golf. Of course. How's your Sat. going?"
Barbie (8:11pm): "It's going well. Glad you got some golf in. Today was too pretty to be inside."
*I just want to briefly address the time stamps above: Of course I could have texted him back immediately. I always have my phone. But he always takes a while to respond so in turn I always wait a little while...don't you just love playing games???
Anyway, after the last text...nothing. Clearly he was not going to ask me to hang out.
Sooo frustrating. I know I really just need to tell him that it needs to be all or nothing at this point. But I just feel like he will pick nothing. And even as sad as I am right now, when I do eventually see him, I am so so happy. But I can’t keep this up. 6 months is enough.
Oh have I also mentioned that we don’t have sex? Yeah. 6 months and no sex. I will absolutely admit that I can be a bit of a prude. My general rule is no sex unless we are exclusive. I think I have this rule for a few reasons: A. I am kind of a traditional girl and I like the idea of really liking and knowing someone before having sex with them. B. Part of it is that I am a huge germ-a-phobe and I couldn’t handle sleeping with someone who was also sleeping with other people ewww SO gross. C. Part of it is brainwashing--I am a co... giving my milk away for free, etc. Lovely I know......
SO early on in our “relationship” or whatever we are calling it, I told him that I wasn’t comfortable having sex with him if we weren’t exclusive. He said no problem. Now don't get me wrong...its not like we have been doing NOTHING for the past 6 months....we are definitely not talking about a PG rating (I think you know what I mean)...but no sex. I sleep over there, he has slept over here, but no sex. Lots of kissing, cuddling, and you know...well you knowwww. Anyway, about 2 months in I decided that I was now an adult (out of school, real job, real apartment, etc.) and that I really liked him and I decided that I was ok with sleeping with him. He however, was not. First he said that he really liked that I thought sex was important (great), and respects that, and understood where I was coming from. Second, he explained that at this point he doesn’t have the amount of free time necessary for a real relationship and he would want to do anything to upset me...Then he wanted to continue to talk about etc. I was not pleased. So bottom line. No sex. I mention this to address any concerns you may have had about me being used as a booty call, hook up buddy etc.
So amongst my friends and family, the popular theory is that Workaholic Ken wants to keep me around for when he eventually does have the time for a girlfriend and so he does absolutely nothing just enough to keep me around without doing anything to really upset me (aka sleeping with me and not seeing me for 9 days--that would upset me).
HOWEVER, this means that on a good week I will see him once—if it is during the week he cooks me dinner. Which is sweet and way better than going out for dinner. Weekends are trickier. You would think, ok so you work a lot. But surely on the weekend you would try to see the girl you like…Oh but you would be wrong. On the weekend, he always texts, BUT he goes out of town, hangs with friends, goes golfing, sees his parents who come down like ever other weekend (they are trying to buy a house down here)….But he does not make it a priority to see me. The main point is that he is a jackass a busy guy that has not found a way to fit me into his life.
So now I am going on 9 days having not seen him. I wish it didn’t affect me so much but it does. I am in a terrible mood. All I want to do is stay in bed. But I can’t sleep. I went ahead and took a sleeping pill a little while ago. I usually wait and only take them if I am really upset but I am so down I just don’t want to think about it anymore.
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